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About Varied / Hobbyist Michaela (No last name for you)Female/United States Groups :iconhorror-an-cps: Horror-an-Cps
"Always watch your back."
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Deviant for 1 Year
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Critiques

by Kerry-Sene

This oc and his bio are good in many aspects, the originality of this character is astounding as his killing methods and his appearance...

Newest Deviations

Literature
Blue's Reviews #29
Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review is http://emofrenchbrony.deviantart.com/art/CREEPYPASTA-OC-Naomi-Bird-637915354  by :iconEmofrenchBrony: by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.
 
 
Full Name: Naomi Bird
(Is that her real name? I feel like this is more of an Alias or a title than anything due to the bird at the end and also Naomi originates from Hebrew or
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Literature
Blue's Reviews #28
Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review is  http://dracotempest.deviantart.com/art/The-Lonely-Searcher-NEW-REF-645209124 by :iconDracoTempest: by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.
 
Link to official story:
 fav.me/da1e30r 
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Literature
Blue's Reviews #23
Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review Cicatrix's Detailed Bio (updated) by :iconredcake1: 
by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.

Full Name: Sophia Berks
(is it just me, or is everyone being named Sophia .3. )
Reason/meaning of name: She was named after her father's sister who died at the age of 8 from an illness
(okay, I likethe reason why she was named. I find it a
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Literature
Blue's Reviews #27
Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review is http://clanemone.deviantart.com/art/Sona-Katherine-612296542?q=gallery%3ACLAnemone%2F59824335&qo=1   by  :iconCLAnemone:
by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.
 
 GENERAL
 
 Real Name: Catherine Beniot
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How to Save a Gem (Pg 4) :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 1 0
Literature
Blue's Reviews #26 REDO
Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review is clanemone.deviantart.com/art/H… by  :iconCLAnemone:
by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.
T H E C A P T A I N 
Name: The Captain
Actual name: Lucifer Zachary
(No need to worry bout this lmao. It's part of his backstory that I'll never reveal on the Internet. I'm probably only gonna tell some close friends. Feel free to call him this anyways.)
(Seems legit)
Nickname: Captain, Caps, Lucy
(is there a reason why he
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The Monsters :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 0 0 Little Ballerina :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 0 0 How to Save a Gem (Pg 3) :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 2 0 How to Save a Gem (Pg 2) :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 1 0 How to Save a Gem (Pg 1) :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 3 0 How to Save a Gem :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 2 0 Sans is triggered :iconbluemonster140:Bluemonster140 7 0
Literature
Terrible Adventure (CH 6)
SNAP

That's the third twig I've stepped on, surprisingly. through the entire walk with these women (which wasn’t very long at all), I was being chained to the white-haired girl’s wrist so I couldn't run away, also the shackle on my chained arm started to slowly dig into my skin; I think I could even feel the blood just waiting to seep out. Then again, I don’t really blame them for the extra percussion, I probably would run. Who wouldn’t?
I don't know where we're going, I don't even know these two or their names, no one has told me anything. Which does kind of concern me. Not to mention that the more we walk, the more I felt like collapsing into a tired heap. Yet, I couldn’t, more like I wouldn’t. You see, if I moved much of an inch in any other direction other than forward, the shackle would move deeper into my skin, and I wanted nothing to do with the pain I would receive. So, I just continued to walk. What else could I really do?
I did my b
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Literature
Blue's Reviews #26
Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review is http://clanemone.deviantart.com/art/Horror-The-Captain-587518346?q=gallery%3ACLAnemone%2F59824335&qo=0 by :iconCLAnemone:
by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.
Name: The Captain
Nickname: Captain, Caps
Gender: male
Age: Unknown
(Well, with that I can already guess he is pretty old xD )
Facts:
He's an entity, a deity, a buildup of negative emotions and feelings which mostly consists of betrayal, anguish, grief and anger. 
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Literature
Blue's Reviews #25
Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review is 7- http://bltirl.deviantart.com/art/Damian-Conrad-PROXY-Info-642949398 by :iconbltirl:
by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.

Real Name: Damian Xavier Conrad
(cool name, much wow)
Proxy Name: X
Reason?: Well, he has a big X on his proxy jacket and mask…. He also tends to strike with both of his knives at once causing X’s on his victims as well... Plus it’s a cool play off his middle initial.
(The only thing I
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Favourites

Journal
Got tagged-
Tagged by: SnickersNDoodles
Rules: Tag 8 people you would like to know better in this meme
//I don't even think u guys would care xD
●• ▪ ° ○ • ▪ ● • ▪ ● ° □ ■ ○ • ▪ • ° ○▪ ●
Name: Allison
Zodiac: leo
Average hours of sleep: 4-8 hours
Games I love to play: RPG games bro... or maybe some casual games.. I love assasin's creed, legend of zelda and I'm currently playing persona (this is why I'm not online much now but I'll try to be online xD)
Current attire: panjamas
Favourite Characters: This is vague. From what? Shows? Games? Boii thats a list. Heres some.. 707, yurio, yato, edward elric, L, marionette, hikaru hitachiin, Haruhi Fujioka, prussia, romano- I can go on but..eh...
When did I start this account?: If its asking when I joined the community.. I guess about 2 years ago. Though this account was made not so long ago... so about 2 or 3 months ago I think?
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Natalie/Clockwork (J.E. Poster) :icontsnophaljakarax:Tsnophaljakarax 18 8 Slenderman Comes :iconcyberii:CyberII 140 6
Literature
Jane Everlasting-Ch2: Strangers In The Night (Pt2)
After reaching the exit, Jane stopped and looked back. She couldn't believe what Nina had said, but as much as it got to her, she tried to be reasonable in her head. Yes, the girl was completely ignorant, but she was just naive. She never had any experience. She was just reaffirming the nonsense she read up online. None of it was real, and Jane knew it.
But why did Nina feel like she had to confront Jane about it? She wanted to slam her fists into the door, but looking around again, she caught eyes of other patrons watching her and her table, where Clarisse and Nina still sat. 
It seemed as she had already caused a scene with all the yelling.
Ashamed and confused on what to do, Jane's feet guided her back, but not to the table.
She moved nearer to the bar, not making eye contact with anyone. She felt eyes stare at her, and voices mutter about her, but she tried to block them out, and focus on something else. Anything else.
Just as she tried to find a distraction, an announcement b
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Literature
Jane Everlasting- Prologue
It was the smell that woke Jane from her sleep.
A strong, putrid metallic scent that caught her attention and brought her back from being unconscious.
Her eyes slowly opened, her mind giving her images of being in some kind of butcher shop from that vile odour.
But instead, she was in pure darkness.
Except for a small sliver of light in the corner of her eyes.
She lifted her head to see it better, though her head felt heavy, and was throbbing profusely.
'What the hell happened?', she thought. She felt woozy and sickened by the smell. The dark room around her began to eventually show a deep red tint, and seemed to contort, ebb and pulsate all around her, like the room itself was alive.
Her mind swam from her dazed state and the terrible stench of what she assumed was blood or raw-cut meat. She eventually began to realise her surroundings more as her eyes adjusted to what little light there was.
She was in her dining room, seated at the table.
The room was tinted red from the large, gaud
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Creepypasta - Sara Byrne :iconhopefulentertain:HopefulEntertain 7 2 CREEPYPASTA OC: KoKo :iconcl0k1:Cl0k1 34 20 Screenshot 1 :icontsnophaljakarax:Tsnophaljakarax 3 1 Commission: Bird Caged :iconj-b0x:j-b0x 1,294 157 Drops of Colour :iconj-b0x:j-b0x 2,666 159 Clockwork's Family :icontsnophaljakarax:Tsnophaljakarax 15 24 Jane Arkensaw's Family :icontsnophaljakarax:Tsnophaljakarax 12 48 Alice Contest Prize :iconcursed-girl:Cursed-Girl 5 4 Special Item Reference: Alani's Pyralite Necklace :iconstargazergamer:Stargazergamer 4 2 Vent Art :iconstargazergamer:Stargazergamer 5 19

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Bluemonster140's Profile Picture
Bluemonster140
Michaela (No last name for you)
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
~Hey guys this profile picture was made by LittleMissCreepys so ya, she's is amazing and I love her art so go check her out please, also other pictures people made me was these one ->
-Request- Bluemonster140 by FlameArcher13 HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! by allieglimmer BlueMonster140 by OrdinaryGeek83 Alice Contest Prize by Cursed-Girl made by the amazing artists FlameArcher13, allieglimmer, OrdinaryGeek83, and Cursed-Girl so go ahead and watch them as well ^^~

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Hi there! My name is, well my Deviant Art username is
Bluemonster140 it's wonderful to see some people taking some time and looking at my page, know I'm gonna be honest I am quite young and my art needs a lot of improvement so I am open to any type of creative criticism! :) also this is what happens when you look around for avatar makers .-. Animated Gif Thing by Bluemonster140
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Dear lord this made me think about my mental health so much ;-;




FREE Classy Status button: Requests are open by koffeelam
Lacey Lavender Hearts by AngelicHellraiser Lacey Lavender Hearts by AngelicHellraiser Lacey Lavender Hearts by AngelicHellraiser
Also I'm gonna put my favorite Characters down here because I have no idea what else to put :3

Jane the Killer - free pagedoll by Akito0405 Ticci Toby - free pagedoll by Akito0405 Tamaki Page Doll by nyharu Hetalia America  .:Page Doll:. by GYRHS Hetalia Canada  .:Page Doll:. by GYRHS
(These page dolls are not mine, I didn't draw them in any way shape or form they belong to there rightful creators)
Interests

Activity


Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.

The next oc I’m going to review is emofrenchbrony.deviantart.com/…  by :iconemofrenchbrony: by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.

 

 

Full Name: Naomi Bird

(Is that her real name? I feel like this is more of an Alias or a title than anything due to the bird at the end and also Naomi originates from Hebrew or Japanese so maybe you could add why they would have given her that name)

Meaning of name: I've always wanted to use the name Naomi and Bird for her ability, as a ghost, to fly

(oh, cool)

Nickname(s): Nia, MiMi, Little Birdy

(Any reasons as to why she was given these nicknames?)

Creepy pasta Name: The Bird Lady

(I actually kind of like this creepy pasta name)

How Did They Get This Name and Why: When alive, she used to feed the birds

(alright, is that all? I feel like it would make more sense if she was kind of obsessed with birds and researched and studied them along with keeping and caring for them)

Gender: Female

Age: 18 at death, 34 in all

(hm, I think people may get a bit confused about this, maybe just say she died at 18, but has been a ghost for 34 years as of present day)

Date of Birth: May 30th, 1982

(So, I’m guessing she died in 2000, if my math is correct xD )

Place of Birth: France

Race/Species: Ghost/ Poltergeist

Native language: French

Languages spoken: French and English

(How did she learn? Why?)

Orientation/Sexual Preference: Bisexual

(Cool, Bisexuals are always welcome)

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Religion: None

Occupation (before becoming a Pasta): Bird watcher/homeless

(wait, she was homeless?)

Are They Dead: Yes
If Yes, How’d They Die: She fell from a building when she tried to fly with the birds

(That death kind of reminds of the ‘Hey Arnold’ episode called Bird Man were Arnold meets a homeless man who lives on the roof of an abandoned complex and lives with the birds. In the end we take an inference that the old man died with said birds)

Date of Death: December 25th, 2000

(hey look, I was right xD)

Place of Death: The Eiffel Tower, France

(oh dear, maybe it shouldn’t of been on the Eiffel tower, I feel that it would of started a lot of attention so maybe make her die in a bit of a more secluded location)


~MEDICAL INFO~



Blood type: O-

(The Global donor)

Mental Disorder: Slight insanity and social awkwardness, and suicidal thoughts

(ok, I have a bit of a problem with this. Just to clear a little bit up, insanity is not just one thing, insanity isn’t even really a disorder. True, there are people with very unnerving habits, but they aren’t ‘insane’ I really suggest some research for actual mental disorders and not just some of the symptoms. Research can actual help a lot, trust me, it helps me most of the time)

Phobia(s): Anthrophobia, Acrophobia, and Acousticophobia 

Allergies: Bees, maple syrup, and poison ivy

(fair enough)

Habits: Chewing on her nails

Powers/Special Abilities: The ability to fly and control wind

(The Ability to hover or in-fact fly is fine, but maybe change the wind ability to moving or disturbing small object or telekinesis would be better, since she is a poltergeist. Though if you still want to incorporate a wind effect you can say when she is in a room with someone or something the room starts getting a light draft)


~APPEARANCE~



Height: 5'2" without her heels and 5'5" with them

Weight: As a ghost she is weightless

Hair color: Raven Black

(Just saying black is find ^^ some people find saying ‘Raven’ black hair makes it sounds a bit over the top exaggerated)

Hairstyle: Down with a braided band around the back of her scalp

Eye color: Green

Piercings: One on her tongue

Tattoos: A tramp stamp of broken wings with the saying "Ailes brisées de choses innommables" which in French means "Broken wings of unspeakable things"

(Okay, now I have no right to judge your decision of the tattoo, I actually do like the motto on it, but does it really need to be a tramp stamp? Though, then again since her outfit seems suitable for the innocent eyes of children xD, I can’t really say that it’s horrible)

Scars/Weird Marking(s): A scar on her neck from where she first tried suicide

Birthmark: One of a crown on her shoulder

Skin: Pale white

Clothing/Style: Simple purple shirt, jeans, and iron three inch heels

(man, those are more like weapons than shoes, I suggest you change them to be a bit more comfortable and usable)

Jewelry/Accessories: A ring on her left thumb of a skull and cross bones

Scent: The winter's air

(what does the Winter’s air smell like?)

Weapon(s): A whip and butter knife

(okay, small issue, I like the whip, the whip can stay, but the butter knife is absolutely useless in terms of killing. Seeing as is meant to cut butter and not human flesh, it simply isn’t strong or sharp enough)

Physical Disorder/Disability: She has a limp but nothing more

(why are her abilities so far away from her weaknesses, and where are her strengths?)

Never Seen Without: She always has on those shoes unless she is tied down

(why…would she be tied down?)

Other: She is very possessive over her stuff. If you touch it, she will scream and yell at you

(sounds like a legit thing that would happen)


~PERSONALITY~



Overall: She is very reserved and prefers to stay in her room until needed. She always keeps her door locked and phases through it to make sure that no one can get into it.

(I feel like this lack good traits, it feels unbalanced)

Likes: Personal space, the fact no one can touch her, and that she is safe and warm in a home

Dislikes: People who try to pick the lock to her room to see inside, Jeff in general, and people

Hobbies: Watching birds still 

Most Prized Possession: Her iron shoes

Flaws: Her timid nature

Pet Peeve: People who get too close to her

(mine is pretty much the same)

Worst Way To Die: In her opinion, by the hand of the one thing she loves. Heights.
Best Way To Die: Same, in a weird way

(the best way to die for me is to implode, idk why, but just simultaneously out of nowhere, it would be a great way to go out with a bang!)

Worst Way To Kill: Chopping into little bits or ripping them limb to limb
Best Way To Kill (how they kill): Hypnotizing them to jump off a building to their death in their sleep

(Hypnotizing? When did she learn to hypnotize people in their sleep?)

Targets To Killing: Those who are scared of heights or men and women who need to die

(Wait, 1st of all how does she now they need to die? Does she have certain morals that they crossed 2nd why people who are scared of heights. You don’t have an explanation for these thing)

Others: Nothing

Motto(s): "It's easier to fall than fly"

Crush/Greatest Love: Sadly none

Love Song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQR70K…

Theme Song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEVxOt…

Battle Song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgBOPe…

Favorite Season(s): Spring and Winter
Least Favorite Season(s): Summer

Favorite Food(s): Fried Shrimp
Least Favorite Food(s): Es Cargo

Favorite Drink(s): Shirley Temple
Least Favorite Drink(s): Pepsi

Favorite Color(s): Purple
Least Favorite Color(s): Orange

Favorite Number(s): 13 and 29
Least Favorite Number(s): 7

Favorite Holiday(s): Christmas
Least Favorite Holiday(s): Thanksgiving

Favorite Animal(s): Bluejay 
Least Favorite Animal(s): Hedgehog

Favorite Music: Indian and American
Least Favorite Music: Boy bands 

Favorite TV Show/Movie(s): Casablanca and Les Miserables
Least Favorite Show/Movie(s): Annie

Favorite Flower(s): Bluebell
Least Favorite Flower(s): Lilacs

Favorite Smell(s): Fresh air
Least Favorite Smell(s): Trash

Favorite Flavor(s): Baked goods
Least Favorite Flavor(s): rotten/ moldy foods

Favorite Meal: A roll, some corn, and small bits of meat
Least Favorite Meal: Trash

Favorite Place(s): Versailles
Least Favorite Place(s): The Eiffel Tower

Favorite Song(s): Once Upon a Dream
Least Favorite song(s): Anything rap

Favorite Video Game(s): Unknown
Least Favorite Video Game(s): Unknown

Favorite Subject(s): None
Least Favorite Subject(s): None

Favorite Shiny Thing(s): Her shoes and her ring
Least Favorite Shiny Thing(s): Cars

Seiyuu (Voice Actor/Actress): None


~FAMILY~


NONE


Other Pasta’s Thoughts:




Slenderman: Blowhard who THINKS he knows everything, but knows nothing

Splendorman: Fun and the best fatherly person

Trenderman: Wanna be that is a fashion fopa

Offenderman (aka Smexy): Whore. That's all

Ticci Toby: A very weird and unusual being

Lost Silver: Nice yet depressing

BRVR: ADORABLE!!!!! 

Glitchy Red: Likes Strangled better

Eyeless Jack: Confused by him

Laughing Jack: Nice yet a bit unnerving

Smile Dog: Concerning

Jeff the Killer: HATE HIM HATE HIM HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Homicidal Liu: Wanna be killer, pasta, and everything else

Ben Drowned: Justin Bieber knock off

 

(I believe you might want to refrain from using popular creepy pasta characters in a serious character oc bio, makes it seem like people can differentiate your oc and theirs. Also, I believe that your using the idea that the characters all live in a ’slender-man mansion’ If I am correct I suggest you to not use it seriously in your character backstory due to the fact that it just isn’t a very good way to go about doing things in the fandom)

 

In the end, I’m sorry if I sounded a bit too harsh ;-; This character does have a lot of potential with its base idea of being a ghost women who is obsessed with birds, but the way it’s done isn’t the best it could be. Lots of things just seemed to be added out of nowhere and many things weren’t explained at all, some even to the point that they made me confused. Plus, the way you played out the Bio didn’t really help either. Though in the end, I can see why you did these things, because as funny as it sounds I see a lot of the mistakes you made and look back at my old work and see how similar they were. So even though it seems that I didn’t like this character and that you might not want to continue I just want you to know that we all start somewhere when creating and surprisingly I started off just like you . Keep creating and have fun while doing so!

Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.

The next oc I’m going to review is  dracotempest.deviantart.com/ar… by :icondracotempest: by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.

 

Link to official story:
 fav.me/da1e30r 
www.creepypasta.com/31080-2/


Name: Theodore "Teddy" Mason

(I like the name, It’s nothing to complicated ^^)
Age: 16 years old, 28 in terms of existence period
Age of Death: 16
Gender: Male

(Alrighty, we're okay so far)
Place of Origin: --- (Still need to work on this. (Ideas are greatly appreciated))

(Hm, well, he could come from somewhere in the united kingdom, I feel like that would fit him nicely. Or maybe even a Nordic country or the Netherlands if you want to make it a bit more unique in a sense. Though that would make you have to update a few things .3.)
Language Spoken: English
Species:  Poltergeist
Personality: Extremely cheerful most of the time, which proves to be useful in the afterlife. (Negative emotions make him revert to the form in which he died (his broken form), weakening him and making him suffer terrible pain.) Sometimes acts in a slightly feminine manner, due to mostly being around Jenna and his mother. Loyal to the point of being overprotective and clingy. Outgoing around people he knows and trusts (or whatever poor soul he chooses to stalk), but tends to be quiet around strangers. Though his angry actions say otherwise, when in his normal state he has the morals of any other teenage boy.

(Sounds like an actual person, good job on the realistic personality you got yourself here ^^ )

Sexual Preference: Heterosexual
Date Of Birth: May 12th, 1988
Date of Death: August 20th, 2004

(This is actually very close to my birthday, heh.)
Weight: 140 pounds, in life and in solid form
Height: 5'11" (Approximately 180 cm)

(tall af, he could probably tower over me)
Figure: Lanky, not very athletic. Has a rather long neck.
Eye Color: Greyish-green
Skin Color: Pale, extremely freckled
Hair Color: Red

(I feel like he’d be the perfect stereo-typical Irish/Scottish person ever)
Distinguishing Features: Usually he looks like a normal person, but his broken form is bloody, bruised, and he has several broken bones. He also appears to age several years because of the stress put on him.

(Just think about it, seeing a beaten and battered floating body float towards you and then looking at his hand making the brutal discovery that his arm was twisted at such an angle that you could actually see the fractured bone popping out. Disgusting, right?)
Fears: Trains, being alone

(why trains? xD oh well, don’t worry Thomas the tank engine made me scared of trains to.)
Powers/Abilities: Psychokinesis, teleportation, the ability to turn invisible, solid or transparent at will. In his broken form his abilities to teleport and change his density are greatly weakened, causing him to rely heavily on strategy to defend himself. He's strong, but can be considered weak compared to other entities.
Weapons: Usually uses anything that's lying around. Stones, knives, other heavy options, probably an entire group of trees if he wanted to.

(maybe just say a tree, saying he can lift a group just sounds a tiny bit over bard)
How he kills/wounds in combat: Blunt trauma or stab wounds.

Interests: Used to like sports on occasion; Was a big fan of video games like Pokémon when he was younger (which helped bring him and Jenna together); Sometimes likes reading, but he never seems to get himself to finish a book; Writing; Likes to be around other people

(huh, a very scattered range of hobbies, I like it ^^)
Weaknesses: 

  • His journal, which his soul is bound to; Any damage it takes also damages Teddy. This applies both to whatever current book he's writing in, and all of his previous ones; if one is destroyed, he will be too. That's why he tries his best to keep them in a cool, dry place, someplace where he knows they won't be found and tampered with.

(When your Creepy pasta scary story radars go off, because you get an idea to make an urban legend. No seriously, there is potential with this one weakness in creating a small scary story in where someone finds and takes one of his journals and brings it with them only for them to get haunted or hunted so Teddy can retrieve it ‘boom’ story!)

  • Negative emotions; Any negative emotion will weaken his ability to teleport and turn transparent, making it difficult to get away from danger. His injuries slowly reappear, and at his very worst his arm and legs (which were cut off by the train wheels) will fall off.

(Dear lord Jesus, he was run over by a train?! A TRAIN’S WHEELS)

  • He has relatively strong power, but will become exhausted if he uses too much of it. He must rely on limiting how often he attacks and observe what will damage the enemy most.
  • In his solid form, he's vulnerable to physical attack. At all times, though, his mind can succumb to malicious psychic pressure.
  • Severely allergic to cats.


Strengths/Pros:

  • In his broken form, his invisibility and psychokinetic power are boosted a little to make up for his weakened abilities.
  • Is loyal and kind, most of the time.
  • He has had many years of writing practice from keeping his journals so long. (He may have also dropped in unnoticed on college writing classes on a few occasions.)

(awe, well that’s kind of cute.)

Flaws: 

  • Talks a lot; 
  • Temperamental, has anger issues; 
  • Clingy, so he easily gets jealous and overprotective; 
  • Sometimes lacks common sense; 
  • Clumsy- In life he kept bumping into things and knocking them over. As a ghost he might drop objects or slam things together or into the wall by accident if he's distracted.

Cause of Death: Hit by a train.

(OOOOOW!)
History: (Warning, it's kinda long.)
-Childhood: Teddy had a mostly normal childhood, though he was often picked on in school for his red hair, freckles, and braces. Being who he was, he remained cheery and happily oblivious to his parents' rocky marriage until he was 10 years old, when they divorced shortly after his birthday.
-Adolescence, age 10-12: The pressure and stress of his parents' custody battle, which later turned him over to his mother, eventually began to chip away at his happy demeanor, and his anger issues developed here. Friendships that were already hard for Teddy to keep soon became next to impossible, as he would lash out at them for little things on top of generally being an annoying kid. He started getting into fights at school whenever he'd get provoked, resulting in frequent detentions and near-expulsion in 6th grade when paired with his failing grades. 
On the first day of school in 2000, a girl named Jenna transferred from a school in another town. Over the next few weeks she became moderately popular, while Teddy just remained the same loner, who had nearly given up on having a friend again. That is, until she approached him for the first time.
Jenna was a lot like Teddy used to be- Cheerful all the time, and eager to make new friends. For a while she was a bit nervous being around him due to his tendency to fight, but they quickly became fast friends. Over time she helped him feel less lonely, less aggressive, and even got him to learn enough self-control to hold in his anger. His school performance picked up, he became immensely happier with her company, and grew extremely attached.

(I have a bad feeling that this is where shit goes downhill)
-Teenager, age 14-16: For a while Jenna didn't mind how clingy Teddy was becoming, since she enjoyed his company so much anyway. But eventually she started to feel suffocated by him and asked him multiple times to start giving her more space. He would obey each time, but started to get clingy again shortly after.
This became very noticeable when they both turned sixteen. Jenna began to hang out more with another boy and soon developed a crush. Teddy started feeling slightly lonely again, and jealous, which cause him to be irritable on quite a few occasions. He kept quiet about how he felt, though, until one night while she was preparing for a date. They both were hanging out in Jenna's room as they usually liked to do, chit-chatting about random things. However, Jenna noticed that he seemed to be in a particularly bad mood that night, and asked him about it.
That's where everything went wrong.
Teddy brazenly told her about how he felt about the date, and an argument quickly started. They both exchanged angry words with each other for a solid five minutes, at the end of which Teddy stormed out of the house, several emotions swirling around his head.
He walked for a long while, listening to music to distract himself, and didn't notice when he stepped on the train tracks on the outskirts of town. He didn't notice the train either, until he snapped out of it and looked toward the rapidly-approaching light.

(oh, oh no, that’s actually really sad, I wasn’t ready for sadness, why do you do dis to me creator, why must you make me wish for good things, why? But, seriously though. This backstory is actually a very original approach to a creepy pasta, seeing as in his life he never killed anyone, he just died at a point in his life where he was sad, and this kind of shows the audience that he was an actual person and not just a killer ghost.)
-Date of Death/Present
Teddy woke up in his room one week later, on August 27th. At first everything looked completely normal- Everything was still scattered across every inch of the room as usual, and everything sounded the same outside. However, his journal wasn't in his nightstand or his bed like it usually was, for it was instead sitting neatly on his desk. This, and the fact that some surfaces were dusty, raised some suspicions that something was off. But what really disturbed him were the blood-stains on the cover and pages of the journal.
He began to explore the house and found everything else relatively normal. His mother appeared to be at work, everything else was tidy as usual, but things still seemed rather wrong. Like he was missing something huge.
It wasn't long before he had his first clumsy encounter with his abilities: He walked straight through a wall and began panicking. He didn't remember exactly what had happened on that walk he had taken, but he was now terrified about the possibilities. He proceeded to run through the house, involuntarily turning solid and transparent at inconvenient times and resulting in him slamming headlong into walls and doorframes, even getting stuck between rooms at one point. Eventually he made it outside normally, trying his hardest to stay as calm as he could.
After remembering the fight between Jenna and himself, he hurried over to her home, but not before catching sight of a newspaper lying on the street, featuring his death on the front page.
In a state of panic, Teddy crashed into Jenna's house, scaring her mother half to death and making her faint. Hearing the commotion downstairs,  a still-grieving Jenna made herself get out of bed and grabbed her pocketknife from her jacket. But she never expected the intruder to be her former best friend, and it shocked her terribly when he stumbled through the door to her room. 
Unsuccessfully, thanks to his injuries slowly starting to reappear, Teddy tried to convince her not to be afraid of him while she screamed for help and held her pocketknife in front of her for defense. After a few minutes, all the rage he had bottled up inside him was let loose, and blindly turned Jenna's own knife against her.

(*balls up in corner* I don’t like this story anymore ;-; )
To this day, he wanders around from place to place, usually staying in the general area of his hometown, trying desperately to find a companion and learn how to control his anger again. His journals have accumulated over the years and are hidden in a place very personal to him.

Relationships: 

  • Parents: Teddy's mother, Tina Brown, is still alive. The location of his father, Ethan Mason, is currently unknown, as they had divorced when he was ten years old. Teddy never saw him again after his death, so it's safe to say he moved somewhere else after his son's funeral. Tina doesn't know of Teddy's return because he hasn't bothered to show himself; He knows, after killing Jenna, that that will only lead to him hurting her as well.
  • Partner: --
  • Mentors: --
  • Friends: Jenna was his one friend for four years, and he actively tries to seek out another.

(I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE, even though I’ll probably die anyways because I can’t even take care of myself as an average human being…)

  • Allies: Lucia Marie Rosiello/The Writer (PretendWriter)
  • Rivals: --
  • Enemies: --


Place/Type of Residence: Has no real home, but tends to hang around urban areas.
Notes: 

  • He never intends to kill when setting out on his search for a friend--- Only when he turns to his angry, broken form will he become murderous. After he calms down, he usually feels deep remorse from what he's done. However, his sunny mood will take over again and he'll push the incidents to the back of his mind.
  • Due to the trauma of the train accident, if Teddy so much as hears the sound of a train, he'll freeze up in panic until the threat passes. It takes work to even get onto a train to stalk his next "friends", but often his determination trumps his fear, if not for a little while. 
  • Also, because of this, a good way to catch him off guard for a little while is to shine a nice big flashlight into his face. If there's one available, that is.
  • He has a tendency to stare at people for a little longer than necessary.
  • He's left-handed.

Further References:
fav.me/da8ipip
fav.me/da8x0ha

 

This character is actually very well thought out, though I do have a small little thought a-brewing. You see, throughout this entire bio I never really felt fear towards Teddy, I only really felt empathy and in a creepy pasta I shouldn’t really be able to do that. I just feel, that on some level, this character shouldn’t be labeled as a creepy pasta oc, but Horror oc, I feel like this character should be its own little thing because it definitely has the potential to do so, and so much could be done with him. Though, other than that I don’t have much to say! All I can truly say is that you should really keep creating and having fun while doing so ^^

Blue's Reviews #28
Sorry this took so long ;-;
Plz forgive meh
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Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.
The next oc I’m going to review Cicatrix's Detailed Bio (updated) by :iconredcake1: 
by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.

Full Name: Sophia Berks
(is it just me, or is everyone being named Sophia .3. )
Reason/meaning of name: She was named after her father's sister who died at the age of 8 from an illness
(okay, I likethe reason why she was named. I find it a nice way to remember someone! But the only question I have is what did the Aunt die from?)
Nickname: Cicatrix
(interesting name, is interesting)
Reason of nickname: The major scars on face that she got from a classmate
(just looked up what it meant xD So I’m guessing her classmates nick named her that)
Birth date: March 16, 1995

Physical Appearance
Age: 21
How old does she appears: 21
Weight: 155
(for her age, she is just a bit over weight I believe)
Height: 5'9"
Body build: has a little bit of pudge 
(the PUDGE MUST LIVE ON!)
Shape of face: Roundish
Eye color: She was born with Heterochromia Iridim which means her eyes are two different colors. Her eyes are dark brown and hazel
(This is fine, even though the trait itself is usually viewed as unoriginal, but if used correctly such as this. The colors look similar and not so different in which they look completely wrong)
Skin tone: Tan
Distinguishing mark: Scars
Predominant features: Her eyes which show up more within the dark circles that surround her eyes
Hair color: Dark brown and faded red dye
Voice: Deep for a young woman 
Overall attractiveness: The scars on her face are Hypertrophic, which are scars that are red and raised. She has dark circles, which make her eyes look dark and angry.
Usual fashion of dress:       Not working: pajamas and no shirt (just bra) 

                 Working depending on weather: 
                                                                     Spring: Flannel, jeans, work boots, and white tee shirt

                                                                     Summer: Tee shirt, cargo capris, and tennis shoes

                                                                     Fall: Hoodie, long sleeve shirt, cargo pants, combat boots

                                                                     Winter: Winter jacket, thermal underwear, jeans, and winter boots
Favorite outfit: Would be the pajama pants and no shirt or the usual Spring outfit 
Jewelry and accessories: Sunglasses to hide her eyes and a black scarf to cover her mouth. With this; it hides the scars on her face.
(I don’t really mind the appearance, I do like it. I don’t see much wrong at all here. Good job ^^)
Personality
Good traits: She's both book and street smart. She is very kind to children, and will not hurt one.

Bad traits: She is very rude and hateful to people she first meets. She also scrambles if someone tries to rush her. 
(hm, well I feel like ‘hateful to people she first meets’ could be changed a bit, maybe put adults she first meets. It just feels like when you include ‘people’ it means everyone including children, which would go against that she Is kind to children.) 
Mood most often in: She is usually in a serious mood especially when she is hunting specific target down. Other times she is in a don't care mood and will choose anyone she feels like killing. 
(huh, okay, sounds about right)
Sense of humor: Her humor is very dry, she's really into bad jokes.

Events that threw her life into turmoil: Sent to therapy for weird behavior (parent choice) wasn't a proper therapist, they used physical abuse as a method of helping her. She then was sent to a mental hospital and put on medication which made her develop a paranoia-like mental state. She was considered cured and released. 
(Now, this is a bit questionable. I feel like you could add more detail into why they went to this therapist, like she was a good friend of her mothers and they trusted her. Or maybe a bit more of a reason why the doctors didn’t notice the paranoia as a side effect of the medicine she was taking.)
Most at ease when: She really likes being alone in silence, but she also enjoys being with Sephar.
(S-Sephar..?)
Enrage when: She really hates it when someone touches Sephar without asking. 
(Who is Sephar..?)
Sad when: She hates animal abuse, so when she hears that an animal died because of abuse it makes her feel sad.
(Yea, I can relate to that ^^; )
Soft spot: She has a special liking to animals and small children, she really enjoys their innocence
Greatest strength: She is skilled with her weapon; a pair of scissors.
(ehhhhhhh, I don’t really know about the weapon to much as of now, but I have a feeling I’ll have some sort of gripe on it :/ )
Greatest weakness: Can't run as far because she has low endurance. 
Big regret: Not saying goodbye to her parents, she just left. 

Minor regret: She didn't tell the boy she liked, Roman, that she killed Erica, a classmate she hated with a passion 
(maybe you could put that Erica and Roman were dating or good friends which made her jealous and that’s why she could have killed Erica? Other than that, no clue why she would have killed this Erica chick xD)

Past
Hometown: Stickville, WI
Type of childhood: Happy good one
Pets: 1 female dog and 3 male dogs: The female was named Princess 
                                                     The males were named Bruno, Sunday, Samus 

       1 male cat and 2 female cats: The females were named Cinnamon and Ashy
                                                   The male was named Silver
(So many animals Xd)

She took care of all of the pets and they were her only priority. She loved every single one of them and was heartbroken when they had to put Cinnamon and Silver down, and had to put the others into a new home before they moved into a house which not allowed pets.
(OH, I’d be pissed…so pissed)
First memory: Picking flowers with her mother
(aww, so cute ^^ )
Dream job: Artist
Religion: Christian
(nothin’ wrong here .3. )
Present
Current location: Unknown
Currently living with: No one
(wouldn’t she be living with this Sephar thingy?)
Pets: Sephar, which was her first pet after she moved into a new home which allowed pets. She was the only thing that she took besides the clothes on her back when running away.
(ooooh, that’s what Sephar issss….)
Religion: No longer have one

Family
Mother: Skylar Berks
Relationship with her: It was good besides the fact that she was a young parent, and really didn't know what to do about the fact that her child needed mental help.
Father: Christopher Berks
Relationship with him: Again, it was good but then he thought she was a lying about the fact that she was being abused by the therapist and it was an excuse to get out of the sessions.
(hm, the only problem I have is with the father. Usually when a father sees his child telling him something bad is happening he’ll take it into consideration that after a while of her coming home with cuts and bruise and seeing her only getting worse, that some weird shit is going on.)

Favorites
Color: Blue because it was the color of her mother’s dress that Sophia loved
(hey! I’m a Blue monster .3. )
Least favorite color: Green, it was the color that the therapist always wore wither it was a sweater or pants. But he always wore green.
Music: Metal, it expressed the anger she felt when no one would believe her.
(the edge is hurting my inner soul…jk. This sounds like what a teenager might do when they are in state of stress or sadness.)
Least favorite music: Country, it was a displeasing sound to her.
(don’t most people not like country music XD)
Food: Fruits because she has allergies to a lot of preservatives and she never had a problem to fruit.
(makes sense)
Least favorite food: Greasy foods makes her feel sick every-time she ate something greasy.
Literature: She never did like to read but she did enjoy writing especially little stories about animals.
Least favorite literature: Is poetry because she thinks it's too sappy for her taste. 
Form of entertainment: She liked doing art ever since she was a little child.
Expressions: I don't know where going from here, but I promise it won't be boring. - David Bowie 
Most prized possession: Was the blue dress she got from her mother which she always loved.
(I don’t really see anything wrong with her dislikes and favorites and other things like that .3.  )
Habits
Hobbies: Drawing and observing people
Extremely skilled at: She took singing lessons when she was in middle school and part of high school so she became skilled at it. She learned stalking from Sephar, she would watch Sephar and she eventually learned how to do it.
(oh, well that makes ‘observing’ people make more sense)
Extremely unskilled at: Never was good at dancing tried dance lessons that never worked. When she is getting ready to kill someone she gets excited and giddy and thus leading to loud and messy kills.
(why does this sound like something I do. I can’t dance for the life of me so I just bounce XD)
Nervous tics: She would do this when she was get questioned about anything what she would do was chew on her lip and sometimes goes as far as making her lip bleed from chewing on it too harshly
Usual body posture: She never felt comfortable standing up straight so she would always have a slight slouch
Mannerism: She tries to be nice to people she just met but that usually doesn't work, because they think she looks like she isn't interested. So, she ends up being completely rude to them
(I don’t really see the logic in this, do they just walk up and feel uncomfortable and awkward in which Sophia thinks they don’t like her, or just don’t want to talk to her. which causes her to start acting rude because of that?)
Peculiarities: She will talk to herself sometimes, that is because she grew up without siblings and animals can't talk back so it sorts of became a habit.
(alright, most of these things seem like things people usually do in really life, so good job!)

Traits
Optimist or pessimist: She is a pessimist because her mind always thought of the worse in everything.
Introvert or extrovert: She is an introvert because once again she didn't have any siblings, only animals.
Daredevil or cautious: She always followed her mom’s input to this day that it's always better to be cautious. 
Logical or emotional: She's emotional about things.
Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat:  She's disorderly and messy, she gets little bursts of excitement and ends making a mess.
Prefers working or relaxing: Relaxing, I mean who doesn't
Confident or unsure of herself: Even though she's a killer, she's sometimes unsure whether it's a good idea to kill people. Even though it's too late to think that.
Animal lover: Yes
(I like these traits, so good job ^^ All of them make sense)

Self-Perception
How she feels about herself: That she made a mistake of running away
One word she would call herself: Boring
What does she consider her best personality trait: Smart
What does she consider her worse personality trait: Too serious
Best physical trait: Eyes
Worse physical trait: Her pudgy face
(aww, but I have a pudgy face ;-; I like being just a bit pudgy)
How does she think other perceive her: Cruel
What would she do to change about herself: Her seriousness, she took things to literally and it made people think she was boring.

Relations with others
Opinion of other people in general: She hates them because she thinks they are useless
Hides her true opinions and emotions from others: No. She always showed her true opinions to people especially to the ones she doesn't like. She does hide her feelings because people she was around didn't really care for her feelings
(huh, okay)
Person she hates most: Erica, she was the girl who always had to one up Sophia in anyway wither it was musically or academically, she was basically her rival
(ah, okay that makes sense)
Best friend: It was Angelica Grester a girl she had been friends with since 1st grade, but is now Sephar after running away
(It would be cool if Sophia sort of stalked Grester to make sure she stays safe)
Love interest: Roman Larson, he came to Sophia's class in third grade and she always had feelings since then
Person she feels shy or awkward around: Roman Larson, who else wouldn't feel that way around the person they like
Person she openly admires: Angelica Grester was her best friend, she admired the way she was good in athletics and could make new friends just like that
Person she secretly admires: Mark Steadman he was always the smart kid in class and everyone liked him and she wished she could have something like that
(So, I’m guessing she was the shy kid who sat in the back of the class :/ it seems as though she wasn’t too good with making few friends and things like that)
Most important person in her life before the story starts: Her mother and father
Most important person in her life after the story: Roman Larson

Okay! I really like this character, the only big gripe I have is the bio reference You may (or may not) have found and used. I just feel that it lacks important details and doesn’t really give me an entire view of the character. Sure, here and there I can put things together and make an inference, other times I get barely any detail, and some other times I get information that’s not entirely needed. There also was my small gripe with her weapon being scissors, mostly because I don’t know how she intends to kill people with them, will she stab them in the eye, neck, or facial area or will she try to chop up limbs with a flimsy pair of scissors. Other than that, I liked the character a lot , so all I can say is keep improving and creating. Good luck!
Blue's Reviews #23
When you forgot to upload your shit, wooops
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Before we begin, these oc’s all belong to their respectful creators, also even if the oc’s that I review get bad ratings please do not harass or attack the creators of said oc’s.

The next oc I’m going to review is clanemone.deviantart.com/art/S…   by  :iconclanemone::iconclanemone:

by the way my statements will have bold (these) around them. Also, as of now I will stop rating these characters since I believe it is simply not needed because this is just simply reviewing and building a character not figuring out how it outranks others. So, sorry if that disappointing the audience but I just don't see the need of it.

 

 GENERAL

 
 Real Name: Catherine Beniot
 Alias: Catherine
 Meaning to Name: Beniot means "blessed" in French. 
 Nickname(s): Cat, Catty, Cathy
 Age: 18

(young adult creepypasta characters for the win .3. )
 D.O.B: 21 December 1998
 
 Birthplace: Canada

()
 Language: English, French
 
 Voice: TBA

(Can’t wait xD )
 Current Residence: Canada
 
 Gender: Female
 Species/Race: Human
 Status: Alive and inactive 

(oh shizzle, looks like we got some sort of sleeping beauty type shit here)
Alliance: Katherine
 
 Weapon(s): A set of hunting knives, and a gun (9mm I think)

(Yessssss, finally someone with a gun)
 Method of Killing: shooting them

(Quick n’ easy, I like it )
 Goal/Reason to Kill: Well she only killed her family and now she's on the run. She hasn't killed anyone else yet

Image result for Suspicious face
 Hobbie(s): Is reading a hobby? 

(yes, yes it is)
 Special Item(s): Golden necklace 
 
 Likes: Children, Reading 
 Dislikes: TBA

(Just some advice, you don’t really need likes or dislikes if it makes it easier .3. )
 Fear(s): Cyanophobia, Aerocrophobia, Aerophobia, Autophobia, Gelotophobia, OCD (fear of hurting others)

(that’s a lot of fears. A lot. I feel like she would almost be like a walking precaution)
 Personality: She's a nice, sweet and shy girl. Who always helped other when in need. She loves children and could never turn them away or get angry at them. 

(Sounds like a nice girl, now let’s see what fucked her up shall we ^^ )

(Well, that went downhill fast, I liked it though! Of course, I should point out the cliché in which she has another evil side to herself but I liked how you portrayed it. Many people use this type of cliché and make the other side become an actual breathing thing which in real life can’t happen, while you used it in a sense that the other side still needs and helps the original and just nudges the original to do it’s biding. Plus the story was very well done, and emotional, the characters felt like actual people and not just things that someone put just to toss out. Good job ^^!)
I'll add a summary when I have time. 
 
* Childhood: TBA
* Adolescence/Teens: TBA
* Adulthood: TBA
 CreepyPasta Story: To be written 
 

   RELATIONSHIPS

 Orientation: Heterosexual 

(It’s a unicorn! AN OC WHO ISN’T GAY! Not saying that gay is bad, it’s just…it seems like all creepypastas are gay now .3. )
 Relationship: None and not looking 

(Yes queen, yas  )
 Family: Desceased
 
 Allies/Friends: TBA
 Rivals/Enemies: TBA

(Well aren’t you a single pringle for the rest of your days, you must be lonely all by yourself, we can be alone together ,-, )

   APPEARANCE

 Hair: Chocolate Brown Skin: A bit pale Eyes: Blue, but with contacts, black sclera and leaf green eyes (so that’s why the eyes were so weird looking .0. ) Height: 5"7' Mass: 48kg Body Type: A bit on the thinner side Outfit: A turtle-kneck dress with the sleeves rolled up, Black shoes and thigh length stockings (Now, I do have a bit of a problem with this, I feel like if she wore this for normal ware it would be find, but seeing as she uses a gun I think she should probably wear something she could easily run and work in)  Accessories: Golden necklace  Distinguishing Features: Black sclera and leaf green eyes due to contacts(Yea some weird shit right there)


   PHYSICAL

 Disorder(s): psychopathy, PTSD, GAD 
(I don’t think she would have psychopathy, since Catherine isn’t the one really doing it) Abilities/Strengths: She's good at talking people into things. She's also very smart, and always at the top of her class. She's a fast learner, and catches on to things very quickly.  Weaknesses/Faults: She has panic attacks every now and then. It causes her not to be very focused.
  
 
STATS

 
(Rate from 1-10, 10 being the highest/best)
 Intelligence: 9/10 Strength: 4/20 Speed: 6/10 Agility: 7/10 Endurance: 4/10 Stamina: 5/10 Balance: 7/10 Tolerance: 8/10


 Real Name: Katherine Boucher 
 
 Alias: Katherine 
 Meaning to Name: Boucher means "butcher" in French...I think 

(Seems a bit convenient :/ )
 Nickname(s): Kit Kat, Katty
 
 Language: English, French

(We’ve got a Frenchie)
 Voice: TBA
 
 Gender: Female
 Species/Race: A demon of sorts

(oh no, not the demon :O )
 Status: Alive (in the same body as Catherine) and inactive 

(So her and Catherine are inactive? Also, why choose Catherine?)
 Cause of Death: Shot in the head 

(sounds painful)

 Alliance: Catherine
 Method of Killing: Shooting
 Goal/Reason to Kill: She wants the world to feel as much pain as she did before she died.

(Edgy)
 Likes: Inflicting pain on others 

(Image result for Edgy)
 Dislikes: Children (especially whinny ones)

(If those are her only likes and dislikes I really encourage on adding more or not including these at all)
 Fear(s): Claustrophobia, Misophonia, Acrophobia 
 
 Personality: She's obsessive, blunt and loud. She doesn't help others unless forced to. She absolutely hates children since she finds them annoying. She loves to harm others. She wants the world to suffer with her.

(I understand you are going for a vengeful spirit feel, but this is a very negative personality. I believe that you should still try to add some good traits so it’s balanced)
   
 
PHYSICAL

 

 
Disorder(s): Psychopathy, schizophrenic  (The Psychopathy I can understand, but schizophrenia is a bit far-fetched) Abilities/Strengths: She's really good with a gun. She doesn't get tricked very easily.  Weaknesses/Faults: She does things without thinking twice. When she's angry she doesn't think rationally.
 
 
  STATS

(Rate from 1-10, 10 being the highest/best)
 Intelligence: 8/10 Strength: 4/10 Speed: 7/10 Agility: 6/10 Endurance: 3/10 Stamina: 5/10 Balance: 7/10 Tolerance: 6/10

(It’s all kind of low .-. )
 
 
  FACTS/TRIVIA

 - She wasn't taught how to use a gun, but Katherine was, thus she learnt how to use it.

In the end, I like the concept of the character but it is lacking in a lot of area’s and it’s just a bit confusing. I found myself asking questions about the small possession of Catherine, like why Katherine choose her and how they are both inactive. I also had some issues with Katherine being just a very negative character or in other words a bit too edgy, and I also started looking at both of the characters disorders and some just didn’t seem to fit. Then came the Appearance and the whole ‘work cloths’ . Other than that, I still liked the character(s) in the end, they just need a bit of a boost to improve. I have hope for this character and I can’t wait to see improvement!. Keep creating!

How to Save a Gem (Pg 4)
Won't you look at that, I made a pearl character! :0 and I messed up the shading again ;-; 
Next- In progress :P
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I never really knew what these 'points' were used for, but in a way I guess these are like currency for DA seeing as I see a lot of people use these for commissions other than that I kinda wanted to start getting serious with this account so I decided why not I have nothing to loose (except friends or watchers which I don't have a lot of) so If you like my content please just drop a couple points in I know I might be asking a lot but anything is fine :) Thank you and goodbye!

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Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconclanemone:
CLAnemone Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Hmmmmmm. Have I asked you for a review before? I swear I've asked but it was like, really Long ago XD
Reply
:iconbluemonster140:
Bluemonster140 Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You probably did xD
i'm slow af I'm so sorry xD
I believe you asked for the review on captain and another one I can't remember off the top of my head ^^;
Reply
:iconclanemone:
CLAnemone Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Hmmmm I cant remember too lmao. 
Perhaps you could help me review The Purge instead of that forgotten other one? XD

clanemone.deviantart.com/art/H…
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:iconbluemonster140:
Bluemonster140 Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure xD
Reply
:iconemperorantlers:
EmperorAntlers Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Student Digital Artist
Duuuude, do you have a tumblr??!
Reply
:iconbluemonster140:
Bluemonster140 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
I do, but Ima noob and I can't figure out how one tumblrs xD
It simply is a skill I don't have ;-;
(I also may have checked out your tumblr due to the poll you put up, I agree with your ship of Reaper and Soldier 76 and all of the gayness makes me want to puke neon rainbows When the Deviation/Art/Upload is Just Right (icon) GIF Gravity Falls - Celestabellebethabelle )
Reply
:iconemperorantlers:
EmperorAntlers Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Student Digital Artist
XD the gayness is to powerfull for ya!!im planing on adding a bunch of gay stuff
Reply
:iconbluemonster140:
Bluemonster140 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
NUUUHH MY GAYNESS LEVELS ARE RISING TO IMPOSSIBLE HEIGHTS!
MAYDAY MAYDAY I REPEAT SYSTEMS OVER HEATING!
WEWOWEWO! EMERGENCY EVACUATION!
ABANDON SHIP, SHE'S SINKING!
*Faints*
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(1 Reply)
:iconpamelamae538:
PamelaMae538 Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2016
Hey Tnx for the Fav :)
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:iconbluemonster140:
Bluemonster140 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem ^^
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